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Crazy Rich Arabs Are The Craziest Bastards Of All! [Funbag]

• Jul 23, 2010 from deadspin(Deadspin) in Sports
  Time for your Thursday edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering luggage, toothbrushes, assassinations, dessert, call-in shows, pens, and more.Your letters:
  Gord:
  
  I know you cover a lot of "Would you do *insert something gross* for a million dollars* type questions here. My question is a two-parter. 1) Do you think there are real millionaires in the world that fund these scenarios? 2) If you were a filthy rich, would you?
  
  Let's answer the first question. YES. I think there are definitely rich people out there who will happily spend money to see people humiliate themselves for pure sport. They don't even have to offer a million bucks. I bet five figures does the trick. I'm all but certain the Hussein sons did this sort of thing while they were alive. "Farooq! BURN YOUR OWN FEET FOR THIS ARAB PENNY!" And then Farooq would go and set his own feet on fire. And then Uday Hussein would withhold the penny and have Farooq tortured.
  This is impolite to say, but it's the truth: The craziest motherfuckers on Earth are filthy rich men from the Middle East. You know those Sultan guys who would invite beauty pageant contestants over "for dinner" and then make them sex hostages? That's not even the tip of the iceberg for the crazy shit these guys will do. I promise you those guys happily make prostitutes take a potato peeler to their boobs for a hundred bucks every day after lunch. They're fucking nuts.
  I had a friend who was from the Middle East and became rich. Once he turned rich, he got into X and cocaine and basically became deranged. We were planning a bachelor party for someone at one point. His plan for the bachelor party was to take the groom up in an airplane, have the pilot PRETEND the plane was going to crash, parachute out of the plane into the ocean, and swim to a strategically located island populated with hookers to surprise the groom. He laid out this plan to me without a trace of irony. If you see a rich Arab dude coming at you, RUN AWAY. He's gonna want to cover you in molasses and roll you down a gravel pit.
  Now, to answer the second question: No. I would not see if people would do something gross for a million bucks. You can watch people eat poop for FREE thanks to the Internet. I'd much rather buy smoked ham (see below).
  Erik:
  
  Is there anything worse than being in a hurry while pulling a suitcase, only to have it flip over out of control when you take ONE step out of a straight line that the suitcase MUST travel in to remain upright and on its wheels? When this happens I have the urge to throw it over my shoulder and carry it like a bag of sand to my very important destination.
  
  I concur wholeheartedly. In fact, I have yet to drag a rollerboard suitcase from a jetway to a taxi stand without it flipping on its side at least six times. It's not possible for me. And if I'm in a hurry, the thing will flip every three steps. Like Erik, there will inevitably come a moment where I'm just like FUCK THIS, then I carry the thing the rest of the way. This flipping happens because the handle on virtually any rolling suitcase is always about three inches shorter than I'd like it to be. I have to stoop down just enough for it to be fucking agony. I think the little Asian people making suitcases in the Samsonite sweatshop made these handle too short on purpose. Just to get back at us. Fuckers.
  I've had suitcases flip on me while on escalators, which BLOWS. I get out of the plane and I'm rushing to the ground transportation level because I can't stand the idea of being in the fucking airport a second longer than I have to. Then I get to the DOWN escalator and I'm sitting there with the suitcase on the step above me, and I just start to go nuts with impatience, so I'll just drag that shit down the steps and it goes THUNK THUNK THUNK. Then everyone turns and stares and thinks, "Who is the fuckhead making all that noise?" And THAT is precisely the moment when the suitcase will turn over on the step and slide down violently onto my calf, causing me great pain and resulting in me awkwardly trying to right the ship on the way down. Then I get really fucking pissed at the suitcase for not cooperating with me and I start hitting it and screaming YOU STUPID FUCKING SUITCASE I FUCKING HATE YOU!
  That's usually when the security comes and escorts me out.
  Ben:
  
  I thought you might like this, it's from the Airman's Manual. I remember the first time I saw this and laughed at the seeming matter-of-factness of dealing with organs OUTSIDE THE FUCKING BODY.
  
  
  HOLY JESUS!
  I need to see the rest of this manual. I want to know how long it is. I want to know if it gives specific instructions for every possible gruesome result of air combat. What do I do if I get sucked into an engine turbine and my legs get sheared clean off? What do I do if I sit on a landmine? What is the protocol in the event I parachute down onto a spiked iron fence and that fence blasts through my taint?...

Let Your Kids Go Batty This Halloween

• Sep 10, 2010 from khemso(Hassan Khamis Eliwah) in *
  Kids side of the craft room
  
  Image by Meer
  Let Your Kids Go Batty This Halloween
  Although there really is nothing to fear about bats, and they dont really attack people to drink their blood nor are they blind, its fun to let your imagination run wild, especially around Halloween. The days are growing shorter, the air is crisp, and the leaves are dying-the perfect conditions to let your kids go batty. This year, forget the ghosts and witches and take a cue from Edgar Allan Poe and plan your Halloween party around these scary black mammals. Find everything you need for a horror-ble party that will drive your guests batty, from invitations, to bat crafts, to games.
  InvitationsUse a white paint pen to write party details on black bat-shaped cut-outs. Glue onto orange craft paper and send out to guests.
  Decorations:
  Set the mood for your party by hanging inverted bats made out of black construction paper from trees or the entrance to your house
  Trim the front door with bat decals or cut-outs. Add a banner with a scary saying.
  Carve bat shapes into pumpkins and display on the front porch and inside the house. For an extra ghoulish effect, light candles and place inside the pumpkins.
  Using black and orange ribbon, hang bat shapes from the ceiling along with black and orange balloons.
  Make a bat banner out of construction paper
  For your a table center decoration paint a large, bare tree branch black and attaching black construction paper or plastic bats to it.
  Spread bat-shaped confetti on tabletops and counters.
  Bat Hunt GameFun Halloween activtiyHide some toy bats or construction paper bats around the house inside or outside before guest arrive. Give each guest a paper bag and a flashlight and turn off the lights or go outside. Have guests search for the hidden bats. The person who finds the most bats is the winner. Give a small prize to the winner if desired. (Variation: You could have one special bat for guests to find, and the person who finds that bat gets a prize too.)
  
  Owl and Bats Halloween GameYou will need either some plastic or rubber bats. There should be one less bat than the number of players. For example, if you have 6 players, use 5 bats. Before the game, color or paint a spot on the bottom of each bat. Have children sit in a circle. Put the bats, marks facing down, on the floor in the middle of the circle. Have children choose one bat. The child without the bat is the owl. Have the owl sit in the middle of the circle. The owl points to one child and tries to guess the color of the spot on that childs bat. If the owl guesses the correct color, the child with the bat runs around the circle and the owl tries to catch him/her before he/she sits down at his/her spot again. If the owl catches the child with the bat, he/she will be a bat again. If not, the bat takes a turn to be the owl.
  Party FavorsVisit your local party store or discount store, looking for inexpensive bat-related novelties such as key chains, plastic toys, jewelry, etc.
  Bat Cookie Decorating Activity/SnackLet children decorate their own bat-shaped sugar cookies. Set up a table with paper plates, plastic knives, napkins along with sugar cookies cut in bat shapes, different colors of frosting, sprinkles, candy corn, etc.
  Snacks/Drinks
  Ice cupcakes with black and add bat-shaped edible decorations.
  Use bat-shaped cookie cutters to make bat sandwiches or pancakes. Using a bat shaped cookie cutter, cut flour tortillas into bat shapes. Lightly brush both sides of each bat shape with oil. Place tortilla shapes on cookie cutter and place in oven. Broil tortilla shapes, flipping chips once when they begin to brown. When brown on both sides, sprinkle lightly with salt or a mixture of cinnamon and sugar.
  Bat grog: Combine 2 cups grape juice, 2 cups lemon-lime soda, lime sherbet, and lemon sherbet. Chill.
  
  Jolanda Garcia is a former teacher and educational content designer. Visit her websites at: Preschool activities and crafts , and Halloween Party Ideas.
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Publix 9.22 to 9.28 (20 under $1!) Couponing to Disney

• Sep 22, 2010 from realpsychic3 in World News
  h1 a:hover {background-color:#888;color:#fff ! important;} div#emailbody table#itemcontentlist tr td div ul { list-style-type:square; padding-left:1em; } div#emailbody table#itemcontentlist tr td div blockquote { padding-left:6px; border-left: 6px solid #dadada; margin-left:1em; } div#emailbody table#itemcontentlist tr td div li { margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:1em; } table#itemcontentlist tr td a:link, table#itemcontentlist tr td a:visited, table#itemcontentlist tr td a:active, ul#summarylist li a { color:#000099; font-weight:bold; text-decoration:none; } img {border:none;} Publix 9.22 to 9.28 (20 under $1!) Couponing to Disney Publix 9.22 to 9.28 (20 under $1!) Meijer 9.19 to 9.25 (25 under $1!) Price Chopper 9.19 to 9.25 (15 under $1!) Kroger 9.19 to 9.25 (12 under $1!) Giant PA 9.19 to 9.25 (16 under $1!) Wegmans 9.19 to 9.25 (3 under $1) A lot of coupons have reset on Coupons.com! *HOT* New Kraft printable coupons NEW Blockbuster rental codes Groupon: Check out the deals in a city near you Restaurants.com: Get a $25 gift certificate for $2! Day 21 of No Dining Out September! CVS: Possible $1 Xtra detergent! Smuckers: Request your free box of Smuckers Uncrustables! Rebate of the Day Libman Freedom Spray Mop Freebie: Get a free Leapfrog Tag or Leapfrog Tag Jr Book! *Freebie* Request your Disney Cruise Line planning DVD! Disney News: New parade, Mobile dining reservations, New character at Epcot and more Do you have an existing registry at Babies R Us? Sneak peek of next weeks Publix ad! Retail coupons: Old Navy, Sears, Yankee Candle and more Publix 9.22 to 9.28 (20 under $1!) Posted: 21 Sep 2010 10:40 AM PDT &list;&itemids; Just getting started? Read this guide here! Publix doubles coupons up to 50c every day! This listing takes into account the doubled coupon amount. Warning: If you live in Florida, your coupons dont double. Also your BOGOs ring up full price and zero instead of half price like in the rest of the states. If you dont live in Florida, all the deals on this post will work for you exactly as I have it listed. Also Florida sales run Thursday to Wednesday. Visit The Prudent Patrons under $1 list for stores that do not double. These are the hot deals that are under $1. Please visit I Heart Publix to find the complete ad match up. I am only listing the items that less than $1 (or are such a great deal I dont want you to miss them). Click continue to see all the deals. Create your personal shopping list: Click on the box next to each item you would like to purchase and then click on the print list button at the bottom to print your own personal shopping list! Wish-Bone Dressing - b1g1 @ $2.65 Use .75/1 Target printable plus .50/1 printable or .50/1 printableTotal: FREE Krusteaz Pancake Mix or Waffle Mix - b1g1 @ $2.27 Use .50/1 from 8/22 SSTotal: $0.13 Green Giant Valley Fresh Steamers - b1g1 @ $2.39 Use .50/1 printable or .50/2 printable or .50/2 from 9/12 GMTotal: $0.20 Glass Plus Glass & Multi-Surface Cleaner, 32-oz bot - b1g1 @ $2.49 Use $1/1 printableTotal: $0.25 Yoplait Fiber One Yogurt - b1g1 @ $2.50 Use .50/1 printable or .50/1 from 8/8 or 9/12 GMTotal: $0.25 Fancy Feast Gourmet Cat Food $0.50 Use b3g1 or $1/24 from 8/1 RPTotal: $0.37 Kellogg's Cinnabon - b1g1 @ $2.79 Use $1/1 from 8/25 Parade (exp 9/25)Total: $0.40 Mt Olive Pickles - b1g1 @ $2.79 Use $1/1 from 8/1 SSTotal: $0.40 Nestle Toll House Refrigerated Dough - b1g1 @ $2.89 Use $1/1 printable or $1/1 printableTotal: $0.45 Quaker Quakes Rice Snacks or True Delights Multigrain Fiber Crisps $1.00 Use $1/2 printableTotal: $0.50 SuperPretzel Soft Baked Pretzel - b1g1 @ $2.99 Use .50/1 from 8/15 RPTotal: $0.50 Crunchmaster Multi-Grain Crackers - b1g1 @ $2.99 Use $1/1 from 8/29 SSTotal: $0.50 Progresso Soup - b1g1 @ $2.29 Use $1/4 printable or .50/2 from 8/8 GM or $1/4 from 9/12 GMTotal: $0.65 Green Giant Canned Vegetables - b1g1 @ $1.29 Total: $0.65 Egg Beaters - 3/$5 Use .50/1 printableTotal: $0.67 Edge Shave Gel - 3/$5 Use b1g1 printableTotal: $0.83 Quaker Instant Oatmeal - b1g1 @ $3.89 Use...